What Happens In (insert city) Stays in (insert city)

Competing in tennis tournaments are always fun weekends. It’s a fun time to bond with your teammates and enjoy being with friends. But, truly, it’s so much more than that.

There are many steps needed to form a women’s team and prepare for a tennis tournament

STEP 1: Form a team. Skill is important but fun people are more important. Fun trumps skill.

STEP 2: Inform husbands that a tennis tournament is in the making. Remind him regularly of the potential dates.

STEP 3: Keep fingers crossed another team does not register so your team advances to out of town tournament.

STEP 4: Remind husbands again. Kids and pets and activities will have to be attended to.

STEP 5: Plan weekend. Plan drivers. Plan shopping list: alcohol, alcohol and maybe an actual snack.

STEP 6: Find an Air B&B rather than ratty old hotel so your team of 6 can all stay together.

STEP 7: Give husbands actual dates and times of kids’ activities

STEP 8: Organize matching uniforms for each match/day.

STEP 9: Get to venue (on time). Play hard. “We want, we can, we will”

STEP 10: Make it through first round. Karaoke at the house in the evening with wooden spoons and plastic spatulas. Have safe space for those who are having “digestion issues”. Take many videos of dancing in the showers and threatening to set partners on fire with matches. Draw names for whom gets the bunk beds or gets a whole bed by themselves

STEP 11: Day 2– 8:00 A.M. match – prepare for more tennis. Play hard. “We want, we can, we will”

STEP 12: Play 3-hour matches. Beat “hulks” with 100 mile and hour serves and younger players with tatoos covering arms and legs.

STEP 13: Do nothing but groan and walk gingerly after two hard-fought matches. Sit at home all evening rubbing feet and watching home team baseball win.

STEP 14: FINALS!! Play harder than ever before. “We want, we can, we will”.

STEP 15: Lose in third set tie breaker for the BIG WIN. Be sad. Good play. “We want a can of beer”.

STEP 16: Have calmest player drive home as players drown sorrows in back seat with beer.

STEP 17: Chug massive sip of beer, throw beer in back cooler and zip it as State Trooper follows car slowly checking license plates. Let out sigh of relief as trooper passes by car. Get beers back out of cooler.

STEP 18: Get home to find all kids and pets still alive and healthy.

STEP 19: PLAN FOR NEXT YEAR. “WE WANT, WE CAN, WE WILL.”